Post Op: 3 Months and A Few Words to the 2%
I have had people mention that they still check my blog for an update which is so incredibly sweet but I don't really have anything to update about so I feel silly writing :)
I finally feel 100% myself. I can twist and crack my back again (for the longest time I couldn't twist, which I never thought about beforehand), I can do ab workouts without feeling my insides moving. I am back to the same ol' me! The only thing that I would say is still lingering from surgery is my energy levels. I will be fine for a week, and then a few days will hit me where I'm just so exhausted. The kind of exhaustion, that no amount of sleep will cure. But it passes and my energy goes back to normal. From what I have read from most donors, it is really normal and will be like this for at least a year or so. My scars still look the same and haven't really changed much.
Along this entire journey, I have had 98% support from friends, family and even strangers who all showed (and continue to) their love and kindness to me and my family. But what I didn't expect was people who didn't support what I was doing. It was just a few people who vocalized their dismay to either my parents or someone who said something to my friends/family that got around to me. And while I don't want this post to have a negative feel or give light to those who disagree with my decision, but at the same time, it was part of the process. I understand everyone has their opinions about organ donation and some people do not support it, but I do. I support it with every fiber of my being and I will shout it from the rooftops until I die. Just as most mothers will discover and say, "my purpose in life is to bring children into this world" I have found my purpose. While I am not a mom, and haven't brought a child into this world, I know my purpose in this life is/was to preserve another life, a life that was already here but got second chance. I don't take that purpose lightly and it has been such a sacred experience for me. While I am sure those who questioned what I did or didn't support my decision are probably not the ones reading this blog, I still want them to know that my wish for them is that they never have a child, spouse, parent, partner, loved one, or close friend with failing kidneys or in need of bone marrow, blood transfusions, or any other organ that may be donated from someone alive or who has passed on. I hope they never have to find out that they are a match to save someone's life and then they choose not to. To the someone that said "I would never accept a kidney from my daughter," like accepting a kidney from someone else's daughter, son, spouse etc. is better? I hope you never have to, I really do. But don't you dare say that to my parents (or anyone in the same situation) again like that is an insult, embarrassing or a less than a father-like-thing to do. My dad didn't have a choice, I was donating my kidney to him whether he wanted it or not. I knew I was a match before any test was ever completed to see if I was. My dad also didn't have a choice when he was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes over 30 years ago, has had 6 heart attacks, prostate cancer, and had end stage kidney failure. But you did have a choice, you had a choice of words that day and chose poorly. Of course my parents were concerned for my health, as any parent would with a major surgery. But I wish before you chose your words you could have been a fly on the wall in the hospital overseeing what happened. That despite everything going on, tests, complications, 50+ medications, heart troubles, being admitted to the ICU, excess bleeding, and a million other things going on in a hospital after major surgery that my dad was only concerned about me and how I was doing. Donating my EXTRA kidney to my father, the most selfless person I know, is the least I could do. I believe in the pre-mortal world before my dad came to this earth, he knew what he would be facing and he chose this life happily and easily. He knew it would be hard but there is nothing that can break him and his faith in a greater plan for all of us. He has never complained or felt sorry for himself, ever. He is just so grateful to be here with our family, enjoying life and making us all laugh. I believe in a Heavenly Father who orchestrated this entire experience and has a plan for each of us. We believe in this so fiercely, that who are we to tell our Heavenly Father no? While this one person's particular words are just that... merely a poor choice of words they don't take away from our experience, I hope they heal whatever hurt is in their heart. While we can disagree with each other, we should never insult, degrade, or be disrespectful when sharing our opinions because most of the time we only know 5% of what is really going on.
So friends, I hope we can spread love. Be a little kinder and sometimes that just means choosing to walk away and not say anything. Donate blood. Bake your neighbor cookies. Send someone a note in the mail. Offer to watch a busy mom's kids for the afternoon. Call your parents. Pay for the car behind you. Shovel your neighbor's walk. Text that person who has been on your mind. Take the empty shopping cart from the person next to you into the store on your way in. Just listen to a friend.
There are no coincidences in this life and we are all in each other's life for a reason or to be an answer to each other's prayers, even the stranger behind you in line at the grocery store. We have so much power for good inside of us, let's not diminish that power by putting others down.
I am continually so grateful for all of you that do just that! The good always outweighs the bad and love is the only thing that will conquer hate. Thanks for all the love, now come hiking with me :)
I finally feel 100% myself. I can twist and crack my back again (for the longest time I couldn't twist, which I never thought about beforehand), I can do ab workouts without feeling my insides moving. I am back to the same ol' me! The only thing that I would say is still lingering from surgery is my energy levels. I will be fine for a week, and then a few days will hit me where I'm just so exhausted. The kind of exhaustion, that no amount of sleep will cure. But it passes and my energy goes back to normal. From what I have read from most donors, it is really normal and will be like this for at least a year or so. My scars still look the same and haven't really changed much.
Along this entire journey, I have had 98% support from friends, family and even strangers who all showed (and continue to) their love and kindness to me and my family. But what I didn't expect was people who didn't support what I was doing. It was just a few people who vocalized their dismay to either my parents or someone who said something to my friends/family that got around to me. And while I don't want this post to have a negative feel or give light to those who disagree with my decision, but at the same time, it was part of the process. I understand everyone has their opinions about organ donation and some people do not support it, but I do. I support it with every fiber of my being and I will shout it from the rooftops until I die. Just as most mothers will discover and say, "my purpose in life is to bring children into this world" I have found my purpose. While I am not a mom, and haven't brought a child into this world, I know my purpose in this life is/was to preserve another life, a life that was already here but got second chance. I don't take that purpose lightly and it has been such a sacred experience for me. While I am sure those who questioned what I did or didn't support my decision are probably not the ones reading this blog, I still want them to know that my wish for them is that they never have a child, spouse, parent, partner, loved one, or close friend with failing kidneys or in need of bone marrow, blood transfusions, or any other organ that may be donated from someone alive or who has passed on. I hope they never have to find out that they are a match to save someone's life and then they choose not to. To the someone that said "I would never accept a kidney from my daughter," like accepting a kidney from someone else's daughter, son, spouse etc. is better? I hope you never have to, I really do. But don't you dare say that to my parents (or anyone in the same situation) again like that is an insult, embarrassing or a less than a father-like-thing to do. My dad didn't have a choice, I was donating my kidney to him whether he wanted it or not. I knew I was a match before any test was ever completed to see if I was. My dad also didn't have a choice when he was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes over 30 years ago, has had 6 heart attacks, prostate cancer, and had end stage kidney failure. But you did have a choice, you had a choice of words that day and chose poorly. Of course my parents were concerned for my health, as any parent would with a major surgery. But I wish before you chose your words you could have been a fly on the wall in the hospital overseeing what happened. That despite everything going on, tests, complications, 50+ medications, heart troubles, being admitted to the ICU, excess bleeding, and a million other things going on in a hospital after major surgery that my dad was only concerned about me and how I was doing. Donating my EXTRA kidney to my father, the most selfless person I know, is the least I could do. I believe in the pre-mortal world before my dad came to this earth, he knew what he would be facing and he chose this life happily and easily. He knew it would be hard but there is nothing that can break him and his faith in a greater plan for all of us. He has never complained or felt sorry for himself, ever. He is just so grateful to be here with our family, enjoying life and making us all laugh. I believe in a Heavenly Father who orchestrated this entire experience and has a plan for each of us. We believe in this so fiercely, that who are we to tell our Heavenly Father no? While this one person's particular words are just that... merely a poor choice of words they don't take away from our experience, I hope they heal whatever hurt is in their heart. While we can disagree with each other, we should never insult, degrade, or be disrespectful when sharing our opinions because most of the time we only know 5% of what is really going on.
So friends, I hope we can spread love. Be a little kinder and sometimes that just means choosing to walk away and not say anything. Donate blood. Bake your neighbor cookies. Send someone a note in the mail. Offer to watch a busy mom's kids for the afternoon. Call your parents. Pay for the car behind you. Shovel your neighbor's walk. Text that person who has been on your mind. Take the empty shopping cart from the person next to you into the store on your way in. Just listen to a friend.
There are no coincidences in this life and we are all in each other's life for a reason or to be an answer to each other's prayers, even the stranger behind you in line at the grocery store. We have so much power for good inside of us, let's not diminish that power by putting others down.
I am continually so grateful for all of you that do just that! The good always outweighs the bad and love is the only thing that will conquer hate. Thanks for all the love, now come hiking with me :)
Amazing post! I also check your blog for updates and for encouragement as I go through the emotions of testing for my dad.
ReplyDeleteSorry your family had to hear others negative-ness! You truly sound amazing and I wish you and your family well!
Came here because someone shared your "Dating in 2018" post, which, in retrospect, is kinda of amusing for how off-topic it seems to be for the overall blog. But hey, it's yours, do as you like.
ReplyDeleteIt's no one's business but yours what you do with your life. First thought that came to mind as I began reading about the 2% was John 15:13 ("Greater love hath no man..."). And then as I continued to read I started to think about the loved ones I've lost in the last few years, especially a brother who I lost to cancer. I still wish there was something I could have done for him and miss him terribly... no one can ever tell you it's not worth it to spend more time with your beloved father by donating your kidney to him and extending his time here with you and the rest of his family.